Bridal Shower Invitations in the New Millenium
Bridal showers used to have a legitimate role in the right of passage of a woman. I once read that the bridal shower was began in Holland. A young woman and a miller fell in love. The miller was always busy helping others, so never amassed any fortune. When the father of the young woman learned the two wished to marry, he protested by refusing to put up a dowry. The couple was determined to marry anyway. The community that had been so touched by the charity of the miller stepped in to help the couple in the absence of the dowry. The couple was showered by gifts. The community did not need to receive bridal shower invitations to know to bring them a toaster; they were all just moved to help. Others say the United States was the birthplace of the shower. An American newspaper article from 1904 implies that the word “shower” originates from a Victorian era practice of putting gifts in a parasol. No matter the origins, the shower was a way to replace the dowry or trousseau.
What began in the late 1800s, has continued to flourish into the 2000s. The current version of the bridal shower seems to be an American and Canadian custom. And here is where I believe the shower has taken a turn for the materialistic worse. Most engaged couples today do not need to make up for basic necessities, as in the past. Some couples do not have much, as they are young or recent graduates of college or graduate programs. But the majority of couples that are boosting the sales of Pottery Barn and Target registries are not in that situation. I have received countless bridal shower invitations for friends who are well established and combining two households. One friend even said, “This is an opportunity to get some new dishes and better stemware.” The bridal shower, in its good hearted roots, would shiver to hear those words.
Do not get me wrong, I like a good party. I think it is completely appropriate to get your friends and loved ones together to help you celebrate your bride or groom status. Your friends and family should not, however, feel obligated to buy you new stuff to help you celebrate, though. Usually, the same people who receive bridal shower invitations are the same people who will receive wedding invitations. People want to help the couple celebrate and toast to their future. We should not be on the hook to help the bride and groom redesign their kitchen ensembles.
Bridal showers need to be kept in perspective. Couples who are genuinely starting out can fill up their registry with a clean conscience and have a traditional baby shower. For couples who are well established and have everything they need, they should not be greedy and want new replacements for those things courtesy of their guests. I am not being a scrooge; remember that those same guests will be buying the couple a wedding gift. Those latter couples should, instead, get creative. Send out some bridal shower invitations that invite friends and family to stock your bar (everyone brings a bottle of wine or accessories), or to a garden party where everyone brings their favorite annual or perennial. Your prospective guests will be overjoyed to receive bridal shower invitations to help celebrate without feeling the heavy obligation of lots of expensive gifts.